Member-only story
My partner and I recently found a group of polyamorous people. They are cool. Most of them are some version of queer, attractive, accomplished, and thoughtful people. It’s fun to be a part of a group that has a range of ages, and experiences and is even open-minded about configurations: like swinging, kinks, open relationships, polyamory, and non-hierarchal poly. My partner and I have spent two long evenings now talking with a sea of over 50+ about their ENM journeys.
For whatever reason, my acceptance of my ENM identity has been difficult for me to accept. What if I damage my partner? What if we get our hearts broken? What if I invite a problem into our relationship that I can’t take back? What if ENM is full of ‘damaged’ or dangerous people? What if someone doesn’t disclose an active STI infection? What if.. what it… what if… There are so many concerns I have about it all. There’s still stigma, and internalized polyphobia(is that a thing?) for me to unpack about my own identity.
On top of all of this, 2024 was one of the best and worst years for my mental health. It was the best in the fact I did so many things for my mental health: yoga, 90-minute meditations, ketamine, started an SSRI, began journaling, and started seeing two different therapists. It was the worst for me because I had a 30-day fight/flight trauma response where it felt like I…
